Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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