I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
