You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
