So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
