Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i think i have herpe
just one?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
