Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.

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(585): View more from New York

It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.

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(415): View more from California

He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.

(650): View more from California

.......................................

(415): View more from California

My thoughts exactly.

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(416): View more from Toronto

"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....

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(908): View more from New Jersey

do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?

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(314): View more from Missouri

I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.

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(804): View more from Virginia

You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b

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(203): View more from Connecticut

We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going

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