I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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