I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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