Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
