Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
