Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
