i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize