two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize