Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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