I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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