You're completely useless in the revolution.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Naked Twister starts at high noon
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
