He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
