Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
whose ass print is on the piano?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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