I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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