If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
