i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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