my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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