Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
