She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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