my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
