Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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