i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
