can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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