Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Houston, we have a squirter
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
