Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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