His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
