Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Sorry about my life...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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