I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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