i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
