he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize