I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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