Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
