My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
