guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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