I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
