.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
