We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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