what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
