I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
