i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dignity is for republicans.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
