She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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