john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
