he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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