I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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