OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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