I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
