the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
