If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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