I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
