I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
