marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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