just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
