the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
