I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
