Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
