so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
