so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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